Love & Marriage = Tomato / Tamoto

Love & Marriage is like a Tomato / Tamoto…  Do you really Want/Need to get married these days in America? I have mentioned you cannot, in most cases, never want and need something at the very same moment in time. Is getting married a want or a need?  I have always felt that if you are with someone, you are with someone. That is marriage, to me… I don’t need a piece of paper to tell anyone, a faction, a government or even God itself that I love a woman and I need permission to call her wife…


Part of the problem is this false mentality by women that there is a white picket fence and 2.3 kids with a dog and cat living together in harmony when in-fact that is what that is, just a figment of people’s imaginations on the perception of how love should be translated here in America.

The perception of men is we are always looking for either greener grass aka a better looking and/or just a better female that suits our needs at the time or they are looking for the personification of their mother.

The grim reality is the more you force these false perceptions of marriage on your lover the farther you are going to push them away in the long run. If you are afraid he might lie/cheat and you are constantly up his butt about it. You might very well be creating the liar/cheater you thought him to be when he wasn’t before till the constant nagging about it started. If one keeps it simple, keeps it raw, keeps it full of passion and let the rest handle itself; you just might have a chance these days. I come with this from experience I have never been in a relationship where I thought, “yep, this is it, she is the one.” It’s not like I am not experienced.

I am overly experienced.

I have had more relations with women than most men I know, put together including their long-term relationships. I have learned, if the circumstances are not right for you, do not force it. Enjoy your time together, when things go south and there is no way to go back north, end it.

The fantasy is never worth what the reality actually is. Those 2.3 kids are actually 2 kids and 1 with down syndrome or some other incurable disease. The white picket fence is chicken wire with rotten wood. The dog barks at everything at inappropriate times, all the time. The cat is a stray and smells like burnt plastic. The Husband doesn’t wanna work and the wife is hooked on pills while she strips to support 2 kids and a special needs one with a husband that does nothing, but yet, puts her down whenever he gets the chance. That is the reality of most fantasies. Still wanna get married the traditional way, because there is no more tradition anymore.


If the RELATIONSHIP is solid and getting married is what she really wants then it is the guy’s job to make it so. Regardless of belief, at the end of the day, that is what it is all about, making the woman happy. Guy’s isn’t that what we want for them? I do not know about you all. I know that is my goal when I am with someone.

If the guy is that hell-bent on NO, then you might have a communication issue or there might be other underlying areas in the relationship that are breaking down. If the guy doesn’t make it his mission to keep his woman: happy, fed, loved, respected and an equal place by his side, if he is not doing the work to gain momentum on these goals on the daily, then there is a problem. I don’t know. I am not sure most people break down their relationship like a philosophy or business as I do, but maybe they should. Maybe men need to work harder to keep their women happy. Perhaps women should not have their happiness measured by goals that may not be practical for that specific guy.

A man, a real man, should know his woman inside and out and know what she needs to be happy. A woman, should cut a guy break if she knows he is working his tail off to make her happy. Love!!! Your relationship should not be a fixation of negativity in your day to day life. Make your love and happiness a priority day in and day out. Make some hot dogs and burgers for the kids, kick back with your woman, man, partner, and/or visa versa, love and enjoy each other. Time flies… One day everything is awesome. Time dictates that it won’t always be that simple, so make it simple. 

Love & Marriage = Tomato / Tamoto
by David-Angelo Mineo
807 Words